As the most common and least understood of all the emotions, anger seems like the right place to start. I was in a therapy session today discussing the concept of anger in the abstract and what it means, what its purpose is, etc. I came to realize in that conversation, and many in the previous couple months when I've discussed anger with my clients, that I may have a very different view on anger than many people in the world. Anger is largely destructive but it doesn't have to be. It does...

Let's start by distinguishing the two words. Pain is an involuntary and uncontrollable emotional response to loss, in any of its various forms. It's sadness. It's pure and it's simple. Suffering is everything that is under our control that we actively choose not to see or address. Suffering is dictated by us, it is an unnecessary product of beliefs that we refuse to change that brings about unnecessary secondary emotions. Secondary emotions are our reaction to our instinctive primary emotion....

This is a summary of the core ideas of the theory of differentiation as explained by David Schnarch in the book "Intimacy and Desire." Differentiation is one of the most important and impactful theories that I've ever read and can be incredibly useful for self growth and development. The theory of differentiation is foundational to how I do therapy and my outlook on life. I've taken what I consider the most important aspects and concepts from the book and consolidated them into this post...

This post is meant to be a supplement to my post on differentiation. The concepts of differentiation and codependency are the exact same thing just called different terms. Codependency is created by low levels of differentiation and is the same thing as a reflected sense of self. Check out that post if you want more information on codependency. This post is solely going to list off indicators of codependency I found when I decided to research the topic extensively based on research and books...

I’ve decided to start something that I call The Great Experiment. This experiment is based on my own life experience as well as the synthesizing of psychological and spiritual information to come up with a new hypothesis about spirituality and mental health and their role in healing the soul. My theory is that people can find their true spiritual purpose by first healing the mind and heart which will then open them up to finding their spiritual purpose, leading to the healing of the soul....

This is a summary of the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry with additional input from other sources on emotional intelligence. Emotions drive human behavior yet our society has consistently taught that emotions are bad. Much of society spends extravagant amounts of energy on avoiding their emotions instead of learning from them. It's estimated in a study by Stanford University that 95% of information that the brain processes is emotionally based or influenced. Here is a...

Theme song: Sacrificial by Rezz, PVRIS For the past few years, once a year, I hike a slot canyon in southern Utah. It's become a tradition for me to go to this slot canyon and bring friends to camp for the weekend and experience the beauty of the lesser known canyon. Last year, while sitting down and enjoying the view, a friend asked me to serenade the group with zero pretext. I declined at that point in time but for some reason that experience came to mind this year during the hike. I had a...

Theme song: Rumble by Excision, Space Laces Sunk cost is actually a term primarily found in economics, probably one of the only things I remember from that college class, but its applications are far reaching and psychologically indispensable. A sunk cost is a tendency to continue to put money, effort, or time into something that we have invested in, even when the cost outweighs the benefit. In business this refers to the idea of continuing to pour money into failing ventures, expecting the...

This is a summary of the core concepts in the #1 New York Times Best Selling book Think Again by Adam Grant. The book provides a lot of compelling examples that allow for a deeper understanding of these principles that will not be included in the summary, so if you like the concepts introduced, I highly suggest reading the book. I personally learned a lot from this book and how I’ve been cognitively lazy so I hope you do too. “Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change...

This is a summary of the book Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs by Johann Hari. In the book he talks about many concepts including how the war on drugs began, how we misunderstand addiction, and how countries that have ended their war on drugs have been impacted. We have a lot of misconceptions about drug use. A LOT. The start of the war on drugs, according to the book, revolved around three people: Harry Anslinger, Billie Holiday, and Arnold Rothstein. Harry...