Healing Technique: Self Care

Taken from here.

If you don't do things that make you happy, you won't be.

Self care is a term that is thrown around a lot but is often misused, at least when it comes to understanding what's it's supposed to mean on a mental health level. Self care is not just taking time to yourself or doing something nice for yourself nor is it sleeping well, eating well, or exercising like your doctor might ask about. Self care is not casual, it is purposeful.

Self care is anything that makes you feel emotionally:

• Replenished.

• Rejuvenated.

• Recharged.

• Fulfilled.

• At peace.

• Happy or joyful.

• Motivated or excited.

Self care is replenishing your emotional battery before it dies out. If the activity doesn't make you feel positive emotions then the activity isn't self care for you. While I understand that not everything can be self care, I would highly recommend filling your life with the things that count as self care as often as possible. I would guess everyone reading this makes sure to charge their phone when needed, so if your phone is that important to you, you should be more so. Also, most people's phones are not self care for them so keep that in mind while you are mindlessly scrolling TikTok or watching Youtube videos.

Different people will have different things that count as self care. For one person gardening may be excellent self care while for another it may count as something closer to torture. The same principle applies to literally everything. Your goal is to find what counts as self care for you.

Here is a list of main categories I have found that people find self-care as well as some examples (in no particular order):

1. Nature

   1. Hiking, biking, camping, kayaking, white water rafting, skydiving, roller blading, walks, running, water, star gazing, photography, rock climbing, panoramic views, boating, paddleboarding, tubing the river, rock hunting, playgrounds, parks, geocaching, gardening, community gardens, any outdoor sport, nature drive, national parks, motorcycle, yard work, making a fire, etc.

2. People

   1. Family, chosen family, friends (not all are created equal), friends for deep talks, friends for having fun, meeting someone new, playing with your kids, etc.

3. Exercise

   1. Pilates, hot yoga, yoga, the gym, swimming, biking, running, walking, rock climbing, motocross, stretching, dancing (formally or casually), yard work, roller blading, ice skating, snow tubing, skiing/snowboarding, workout class, pole dancing, aerial silks, etc.

   2. Every sport: football, basketball, baseball, pickleball, tennis, racquetball, soccer, kickball, etc.

4. Music

   1. Listening to a preferred playlist, practicing an instrument, making music, singing, going to a concert, going to a fine arts concert, go to live music at a bar, etc.

5. The Arts

   1. Plays, shows, musicals, museums, painting, crafts, decorating, home decor, pottery, glass blowing, making jewelry, woodworking, metalworking, creating in any capacity, writing, drawing, dance performances, college performances of the arts, coloring, etc.

6. Spirituality

   1. Prayer, scripture, service, meditation, self care, nature, self healing, gratitude, reading, uplifting stuff (movies, books, etc.), creating meaning, reiki, tarot, religion, healing substances, getting to know yourself, breathwork, shamanism, etc.

7. Fun

   1. Comedy show, archery tag, movie, food fight, themed party, being silly, spontaneous trips, trying new things, new experiences, road trip, vacation, date night, clubbing, going to a bar, wine and paint night, book club, lasertag, bowling, poker night, movie marathon, cooking, baking, cleaning, organizing, ecstatic dance, motorized scooters, night games, board games, card games, video games, learning, listening to music, etc.

8. Miscellaneous

   1. Horse back riding, taking a long bath or shower, smelling a nice-scented candle, hot tubbing, sauna, sensory deprivation tank, salt cave, doing nothing, pets, climbing a tree, shopping, eating, drinking, rage room, personal projects and hobbies, etc.

Create a list. Whether its in your head or somewhere physical, having a list is incredibly important. The more overwhelmed you are, the less your brain works, and the less likely you are to remember these things. A list is very helpful at first unless you have an incredible memory and I'd recommend making as long of a list as possible. There are days when I don't feel like doing anything on my list or maybe 1-2 things sounds tolerable. The more you have, the more likely you are to find something that works in that particular moment.

The rest of this process is simply awareness and purposeful action. Prevention is far easier than crisis management. I recommend that all of my clients do self care at least once a day for as little as 5 minutes, but the real goal is for you to be aware of when you need it and to take care of yourself. Not taking care of yourself isn't helping you or anyone around you. Be in tune with yourself and take the time you need to recharge.